I’ve always struggled to just blog about the every day stuff.
When I would write poetry, I always wanted it to be great and moving, like the words given to me by my favorite authors. Growing up, I usually used my writing to process through things, most of which were either pivotal experiences, or events that seemed pivotal at the time. But as we all know, the important stuff isn’t always the big things. It’s quiet moments, small interactions, and random occurrences that often become the most important things to us. And we frequently don’t realize it until long after those small things have passed.
In the ten months that I’ve lived in Colorado, so many small moments have turned into big memories. Most importantly, I went to a seemingly unimportant concert for a date back in March with a guy I met online. Here we are, just shy of eight months later, radically in love and soaking up every moment of this experience. Instead of living in a new place where I have no one but my coworkers, I have Ryan and an entire family that has taken me in as one of their own. I visited my first national park where I have found a different kind of love for mountain air and the type of clarity that can only be found when looking down at the world in front of you. I fell back in love with my work amidst the day to day pieces of it, just to fall back out of love with it again. I’ve been reminded that not all supervisors are detrimental to my development, and have provided me with growth and guidance. I discovered what true self care looks like, and realized just how much I’ve been needing it.
There have been so many moments and experiences that I’ve had since moving to Fort Collins, and I’ve just been absorbing them rather than taking the time to make meaning of them. And while I don’t actually think this is a bad thing, I do think that I’m at a point where I need to do some reflecting so that I can process where I’m at, how far I’ve come, and where I now want to go.
I want to do a better job of taking notice of what’s going on in the moment. When I take time to set goals for the month, I want to share those so others can share in my intentional living. I want to share the funny experiences that happen in the day-to-day, not just the hard moments that force me to re-examine where I’m at. I want to share the things I love soaking in, because those are the things that deserve space in the light.
There are countless quotes about starting over or starting fresh. I’m not sure they fit, because this doesn’t really feel like a fresh start, just looking at my days from a different angle. Or maybe it’s just giving myself permission to perform self love and care in a different manner. Either way, here’s to more genuine and authentic storytelling.