Life as a #SAgrad has been INSANE. While I haven't necessarily had the time to post on here about my adventures here at Florida State, I did blog about them over at the FSU HESA blog - go check it out! That post should provide a general overview of how life has been here in Tallahassee.
Not a whole lot has changed since that week six post. I feel like I've adjusted to the school work, I understand my position in Housing fairly well, and most days I absolutely love it here.
But then again, there are quite a few days that I don't love it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm living a wonderful life full of opportunity and blessings, and I am beyond grateful for that. But life here at FSU is more of an adjustment than I expected it to be. I mean, I went a little ways away from my parents to go to undergrad. I didn't go home frequently. Tallahassee is in the state of Florida so it's not like I went really far away, right?
While all of those things may be true, there's a bit more to them than what they appear to be on the surface. Yes, I went away for undergrad, but only three hours away. I may not have gone home often, but I was close enough that I could have if I wanted to and time permitted me to. And while Tallahassee is in the state of Florida, it's far closer to Georgia than it is to my home. A seven hour drive simply isn't doable for repeated weekends spent at home with my parents and my lovable pup. And while I may have been away from my parents, I was SURROUNDED by people that I knew and loved and felt comfortable around. There was a built in support system present that I wasn't truly conscious of until I realized it was missing.
I can't possibly be homesick, can I?
After four years spent at Florida Southern, I was part of the community. I had found my niche, or niches - ΑΟΠ, ΘΧ, Panhellenic involvement, the Greek community as a whole, the respective departments that I studied in, Community Living, Women's Advocacy Club, even Best Buy. All of my wonderful friends, the things we would do and the places we would go were always present. I was comfortably secure in my place at Florida Southern, in Lakeland.
Those niches aren't here at FSU. Yes, I have a phenomenal cohort, great support from the Housing family here, and I truly have made some good friends. I've gotten involved with HESA by becoming Publications Co Chair, and I'm exploring organizations outside of FSU to join and become involved with. But at the end of the day, FSU still doesn't feel like home the way that Florida Southern did, and I've finally realized how much I miss that. I've also realized that Florida State will never feel like home the way that Florida Southern did. And that's okay, because eventually it will feel like a different home. Train got it right in "Homesick" - It's getting better. Sure, I may not have found a substitute for Molly's ( if one even exists, which I'm not sure that it does), I don't have a lake to loop when I'm stressed or upset, a rooftop overlooking downtown to sit on when I need to get away from the world. But I will find those get aways over time, and the people to come with me when wanted or needed. But as I'm now halfway through my first semester of grad school and registering for my second semester, the reality of how fast time is flying has hit me in the face, and I'm beginning to panic before I remember to take a deep breath.
Yes, half of my first year is done. But then I take a moment, and I take that deep breath. There's still a year and a half to go. And everything, eventually, always ends up alright.